:(

Jul. 22nd, 2007 11:11 am
girlnamedxena: (writing)
So, on Friday I went to the chiro and he did a re-evaluation for me, and informed me that I'd made a full recovery. Yay.

Last night I went swing dancing, and after four or five dances my back started to ache, and guess what! My rib is popped out again! Oh, the joy. I think the best part of the night was leaving the hall in tears, then getting Jasper to go back in a get my stuff so I wouldn't have to.

It's not even like my back hurts that much. Yeah, it's uncomfortable and achey and if I stand or sit for too long it starts to feel really sore. But it doesn't hurt enough to make me cry. I was just so angry and frustrated and disapointed that I couldn't dance. I'd been looking forward to dancing for weeks, and then I get there and re-injure myself. I don't want to go through another month of appointments and rehab and stuff. I thought I was better.

Not only that, but because I can't sit up for too long I won't be able to get any sewing done. Bah. And the chiro isn't open on Sundays, so I'll probably have to take Monday morning off to go see him. I don't know if worker's comp. will cover the missed time, because I didn't actually hurt myself at work this time 'round, it's just a repeat of the injury I got last month. But at the moment I don't really care if I miss a day because my back is sore and I didn't get to dance and I'm fucking cranky.

At least no one noticed the massive bruises on my arms.
girlnamedxena: (trapped)
So. The universe seems to be against me vis-a-vis new computer. Jo was going to drive me down town, but then car issues forced me to take the bus. I get downtown, the store is closed so I go to North Hill mall, where Mr. Accent "helped" me, by which I actually mean read the specs off of the card thing sitting beside the computer in the display. Despite this I decided to get the computer, except then it was out of stock and he said I could have the one in the display case. Um... no. If I'm paying for a brand new, out of the box computer I want a brand new, out of the box computer. I left, went home, had a nap, then went online to see what I could find. I found a computer that looks good, but it's out of stock at the online store-- but not in an actual store. But I don't have the energy to go skipping out to another mall, which will probably be closed anyway (happy Canada day, everyone).

There is nothing in the world that can piss me off as quickly and easily as a computer. Not even my brother (though he's a close second).

Roger's is also stupid. They sent me a letter saying that they are raising the pay as you go rate from 33 cents/minute to 40, and suggested that I switch to another plan. I think I may switch phone companies altogether >:( anyway, during my great computer trek I stopped at a Roger's store to ask them about the different pay-as-you-go plans that are available, and the lacky just stared at me blankly and said "I have no idea what you're talking about. We don't do pay-as-you-go here." I looked at him for a second, then said "Great. That was really helpful." and stormed out of the store.

Now I have to have a family dinner. I would rather hide in my room and sleep.
girlnamedxena: (Default)
Sigh. School = lame.

But swing was fun. I like Jonathan's girlfriend. She's nice, fun, takes my side :D At one point we were talking and she mentioned she had Jo's hoodie and blazer at her house and I was all "WTF? Who leaves clothes at other people's houses? What do they wear home? Oh, yeah, Janine, I meant to give you your pants back" it was great because I'd totally forgotten until that point that I did have Janine's pants because she lent them to me when we went to Fake Moustache because it was cold out.

Then we went swing dancing and it was like invasion of the n00bs. Ick. And Janine's learning to lead, I'm starting to get to the point where I actually can lead and it was a nice night.

I've also found one way of managing my angst which sorta seems to be working. When I start feeling so shitty I can't really do anything I just go to sleep for a while. Usually when I wake up I feel a little better. The problem is, I don't get a whole lot done while I'm asleep. Plus if I'm at school it's hard to find an empty couch. I've actually been seriously thinking about seeing a therapist again, but I'm still wishy washy on that count. I am going to try and get a massage appointment for next week, though.

Tomorrow Carolyn and I are going fabric shopping. I'm only there to take pictures so she can check with the person she's making a dress for, but still. It'll be nice to get out of the house. There's also going to be frantic studying for my religion midterm and frantic re-writing of my story for English. The whole thing is one big tell (as opposed to show) and I kinda knew that, even before Sade told me. But I'm kind of impressed with the fact that, under the circumstances, I was able to write anything that even remotely made sense. I don't usually do a lot of writing when I'm depressed. I've actually thought about telling my profs about said circumstances, but I don't really tihnk it would accomplish much. I'll still have to write exams and papers and stories, and I'm not the first one to be in a situation like this, so really I don't see much point.

So, yeah. I'm hanging on. I'd say as much as half the time I feel fairly normal, which is good. I'm looking forward to having lunch with Sade and Carolyn on Wendsday. I like it when people bring me food :P

I also have an idea for my final story. It's gonna be kinda Sugar Rushish, that is, a central, messed up character surrounded by other messed up characters who manages not to slit their own wrists at the end of the day. I'll probably change my mind a bunch of times, but once my current story is handed in I want to start on the next one, so there's none of this writing a story in a weekend crap again. I also should start my term paper -_-*
girlnamedxena: (Default)
Bleh. I do not feel very well today, although it's probably more mental than physical. School is kicking my ass. Life is kicking my ass. And I really, really don't wanna go to school today. But I have to. So I will.

I also didn't want to go to the feast at the Hare Krishna temple last night, but I did anyway. I feel more confident about writing my story now. And it was cool, there was chanting and a little dancing and the food was pretty good. Everyone there was east Indian, so we couldn't have been more obvious about being n00bs if we'd had it stamped across our foreheads (by we I mean my mom, Sade and I). The priest guy also gave us each the Hare Krishna equivalent of a bible. It has pretty pictures in it. There's a big festival this Saturday and Sade said she wanted to go, and I asked Janine and she said we could go before swing. I like it, I guess. I'm just not really enthusiastic about much at the moment. In a couple days I'm sure I'll be more excited.

I'm actually thinking I should go do the meditation thing instead of skate today, but I really, really should skate. I only went once last week and I'm testing this month -_-*

Um. Swing Tuesday, ANTM Wendsday, Fake Moustache Thursday, Hare Krishna festival and swing on Saturday. I should be more excited.

Oh, I also had a dream I could unicycle and do half turns and stuff. On grass. It was cool. I also had a bad dream right before I woke up though, and that wasn't so cool.
girlnamedxena: (Default)
So. Youtube has seriously been cracking down with the whole copyright thing. I don't blame them, I mean, I'm all for people making money off of their work. But when I go to check my subscription list and over half of the accounts I watch have been deleted, well, I guess I'm a little dissapointed. Especially with things like Sugar Rush and random indie movies that I can't rent or aren't marketed for North Americans with region 1 dvd players.

It makes me sad. I understand why they're doing it, but it still makes me sad.

Oh, and I did take some pictures at the symposium, I may get them up eventually, but I fell asleep befor the orgy. Sigh.

Oh, and my mom got her biopsy today, so we should know in a couple weeks *fingers crossed*

Bah.

Jan. 30th, 2007 11:10 am
girlnamedxena: (trapped)
I am feeling unreasonably cranky this morning and I really have no idea why. I was sitting here, checking my f'list and email and I just felt like screaming. I didn't, because Jonathan's home. I was to yell. I want to run. I want to punch or hit or shoot something.

The fabric scissors are still missing. I tried looking for them again this morning but I can't find them anywhere. I'm pretty sure the last thing I did with them was to cut a scrap of fleece so Steve would have something to sew his buttons to. And I put them back down on the sewing table like I always do. I'm pretty sure I haven't used them since then. Mom thinks it's my fault they're gone, I'm currently blaming Jonathan's friends, which doesn't make any sense but I'm pretty sure I didn't lose them. I thought about making a pair of mittens or something this morning, but I can't find the bloody scissors.

So. I am really not a happy camper. I think I might start a new rope or something. Working on rope tends to get me sorta into a trance, so maybe that would help. Plus then I'd be doing something useful rather than sitting around ranting about it.

Oh. Jonathan just found the scissors. They were on the TV. I'm going to go make rainbow mittens now.
girlnamedxena: (trapped)
I feel all wierd and anxious, and I don't really know why. I'm probably worried about my exam results-- I have my marks from Anthropology and it's a C-, which isn't exactly encouraging. I'm afraid I'll have simular marks in my other courses. I'm afraid I'll flunk out of school. I'm afraid I'll have to tell my mom that I flunked out of school. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I worked harder this year than I did last year, but my grades are much worse.
I talked to Tessa today and cleaned. I dyed my hair. In a couple hours I'll be leaving for work and I still feel... unhappy. I shouldn't feel like this. I'm done for this semester, for better or worse I'm done. I should be happily lounging around watching youtube, knitting socks and being carefree. Sigh.
Midwinter cult meeting tomorrow. Looking forward to it, should be fun. Then seeing my English prof on Monday. Not looking forward to it. Not fun.
Oh, and the swanky swing event is a no-go. Hopefully there're still tickets left for Rocky Horror.
girlnamedxena: (oops)
Yeah. I'm almost done, it's only half the length it's suppose to be and I still don't really know what I'm talking about. I still have one more section to write, plus an intro and conclusion. Maybe by the time I've got all that done, re-written and footnoted I'll've stretched it out to 8 pages. maybe.
Why do I have so much trouble writing non-fiction? I can go on for years with fiction, I usually make it too long. Bah. I have all this knowledge floating around in my brain but I can't for the life of me get it organized. I have enough material for eight pages easily, but I'm stunting it somehow.
I wish I had more time. But I don't.

On a lighter note my brother puked onstage during his play today.

On a darker note he keeps puking all the time and it's distracting. I know, I'm such a caring sister.
girlnamedxena: (writing)
So printers still hate me. I used the wireless printing at school a couple of times, but today it wouldn't work, so I asked a tech guy (who is conviniently stationed in the library) to fix it. Naturally I got The Foreign Tech Guy. Who didn't know what was wrong and told me to save my stuff onto a memory stick and use a different computer to print it. Well duh. I know perfectly well that option exists but I want to print off of my own computer. Otherwise I would've done it the other way. Duh. So then I started crying because I'm a huge baby and when my technology screws up I get very upset very quickly. He stood there for a couple minutes, then went to get the English Speaking and Very Nice tech guy, who also couldn't fix it, but he had me save my stuff onto his memory stick and printed it off in his office for free.

Anyway, an errand that should've taken 15 minutes max took me an hour, which I really could've used because of my stupid essay. Then this evening I was looking for an article I could use in my essay and found nothing of use. I hate looking for articles. I want this semester to be finished already.

I'm tired. I want to sleep in tomorrow, but I don't have time.
girlnamedxena: (Default)

So, it's official. Janine and I are going on a double bowling date with my dad and his girlfriend. The date has yet to be determined. The conversation went like this

Me: remember how you suggested we go on a double date?

dad: I thought you knew I was joking

Me: how does bowling sound?

Ah, good old dad. It turns out my mom was right about some things- I have been neglecting him lately, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense as he's much less likely to yell at me than she is. I'm pretty sure he's not secretly (or not so secretly) grossed out by me.

Anyway, that is entirely too much angsty-teenager-I-hate-my-mom ramblings. Because I don't. I'm not exactly thrilled about her views or the way she presented them, but it's her opinion and she's entitled to it. I'll probably be done school in about two years and then I can move out. Maybe if I start working more and save up I can leave earlier than that, we'll see.

I've got a midterm in Anthro, but at the moment I'm having a lot of trouble making myself care. I just had a really nice afternoon with Janine and all I really want to do is sit around and think about that, meanwhile the real world is like 'hey! Get off your ass before you fail!' My story is also due in less than a week, but I just figured out I can probably cut the first 10-12 pages and the story is essentially the same, so that gets rid of the OMG it's 10 pages too long! thing. I just need to rewrite and add a bit more worldbuilding and voila! A story. It's pretty crappy, though. But if I'm gonna be writing crap and making other people read it, it might as well be short. No point in prolonging the suffering and all that. Plus it hopefully won't take as long to rewrite.

I'm finished sewing the lining and outside of my new top, but it doesn't really fit properly so I'll have to fight with it later. Also need to decide how I'm going to fasten it. I don't think it's loose enough to just pull over my head, though it would be nice if it were. Also gotta do the sleeves. The skirt that goes with it will be a piece of cake, though. Just need to finish the ends and it'll be a draw-string waiste. If I don't screw up I can probably finish it in an hour or two. Then I have to decide what to do with the rest of my fabric.

Anyway, life is feeling generally ok.

girlnamedxena: (writing)
Mum and I had a fight. A big one. I don't think we've ever really had one before. We were just having breakfast and it degenerated. I should have grown out of my rebel phase, she pities gay people, I don't do enough chores, I didn't make a big deal about her birthday, I don't follow rules blindly, I have nice clothes but she doesn't, I'll never have anyfriends because there will always be sexual tension, I don't care about school, I'm too much like my dad (who I've rejected), I dressed up as a man for halloween, she can't change who I am but that doesn't mean she has to like this, she doesn't know what to do with me anymore. I asked her what she wanted from me and she said "nothing."
I am just so shocked right now. I totally didn't see this coming and in hindsight I still really don't. I doubt she'll apologize (and I've already tried). Right now it feels like nothing will be the same again, although apparently it hasn't been the same for quite a while and I've just been too stupid to notice.
And I thought we had a good relationship.
Guess not.
I want to move out.
girlnamedxena: (Jarethbah)
So that last couple days have been pretty awesome. Went fabric shopping at a couple of East Indian stores and the shiny! Then we went to swing, then today Janine and I went shopping again and I got the most fabulous boots in the world.
Then I came home, started cutting out pieces for a top and I decided I wanted to do the sleeves differently than in the pattern, so I'm sitting there trying to figure out how to make it work when my mom shows up and tells me that she thinks the sleepovers with Janine should stop because they're "innapropriate." Apparently this just occured to her.
She's like, seriously cranky today because neither my brother or I wished her happy birthday this morning (although we did later in the afternoon) and she yelled at us. Then during supper she jumped down my throat over everything I said. And now this. It's been months since I came out to her and she never had a problem before, and this is one of the main reasons why I didn't want to tell her in the first place.
Maybe she's having a bad day. I don't know. But she totally ruined mine.
Oh, did I mention the internet at my house isn't working? Yeah. It works kind of ok on Edgar, but the family computer? Not connecting (although oddly enough MSN still works). We keep getting an error message telling us we have a virus, which, naturally, the virus scanner isn't picking up. At least I still have access. That way all you nice people get to hear about my emo rants!
girlnamedxena: (Jarethbah)
So neither of the printers in my house are working. Still. I even tried hooking up the family computer to Edgar, who apparently didn't detect the frickin' printer. GAH! They used to work! What the hell has changed? Anyway, I wanted to scan the drawings of how I want to cut my hair so you all can tell me whether I should go for it or if I'm a complete dumbass and should keep my hair the way it is. But I can't. Because the printers hate me. I'm going to have to call Dell and Lexmark and ask them why your farging printers won't work. AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!
I just realized I've spent the whole afternoon trying to get computers/printers to work and drawing my new hair cut. I meant to study today. I really did. But now I have to go to my stupid Creative Writing course in half an hour because my brother is at rehersal and therefore can't drive me. Because he sucks. Big time.
So, since I can't scan my drawings I'll link my inspiration instead.
Saint (beware teh lesbian SEX!)
Emmerson
Because symmitry is for wusses. And Straight people, apparently.

*sigh*

Oct. 5th, 2006 02:10 pm
girlnamedxena: (oops)
Emo rant )
girlnamedxena: (oops)
So. I don't get to sleep in tomorrow as late at I want! *cries* I booked a massage for ten tomorrow, it was the only time even remotely convienient for the whole week and I don't want to wait until next week. My arms and hands are stiff and sore, my neck is stiff and sore, my shoulders are stiff and sore... Anyway, massage tomorrow, then Latin study party, then GRST then sitting around for three hours before swing lessons start.
Oh, and I pinched my thumb today and it was bleeding everywhere but I didn't have time to put a bandaid on right away because I was late for my stupid history class with that stupid prof who talks to fast. And I have two midterms a week from monday. Sigh.
Anyway, I didn't mean for this to turn into a big emo rant. I'm not actually feeling /that/ cranky. Just a lot of things going on right now (which is different from normal how?). They're having a poster sale at school and I saw one that I want, and it's only seven bucks so I'm pretty sure I'll get it.
Oh, and I went to my bank to find out if they had a credit card associated with them that I could get, and it turns out they have this really nifty thingie- it's basically a debit card: it takes money from your account rather than putting it on a bill, so it's like a debit card but it isn't because you can use it online/over the phone/whatever. Which is exciting. So hopefully I'll be getting one.
And I wanna have a nap. But I've got stuff to do (oh, the joys of Latin!)
girlnamedxena: (Default)
The amount of my life spent flailing is really on the decline and so today after finishing part of my history reading I decided to take Poly for a spin. Gawd I'm bad. Not that I was ever very good at it, but this whole never practising thing is really kicking my ass. Unfortunately I don't really have the spare time or energy to spend improving my stupid balancing skills, so Poly'll have to wait 'till next summer. Sigh. I don't wanna read my Anthropology! But I have a test in a couple weeks and reading a chapter a week is a lot easier that trying to read three chapters during Latin, which is the class I have before anthro.
Oh, and Latin? Sucks. That is a stupid, stupid language. The Latin guys, when inventing it, must have had me and all other hapless scholars in mind when they came up with the whole declension thing. And they didn't like us. At all. *grumbles about Latin* anyway, I'm off to a study party tomorrow before GRST and hopefully Carolyn, who actually seems to have some clue about what she's doing, can help me. Then swing is starting up tomorrow! Yay! And Janine's gonna join. Hopefully. The put a cap on the number of people allowed in the classes because so many people signed up last year that there wasn't really room for everyone in the room they were using (why not get a bigger room? I don't know).
And I have Creative Writing tonight. Oh, the joy.
Why did I decide I wanted to be educated? I could be making upwards of $10/hr just about anywhere. I could just become one of those old ladies shuffling around Wal-Mart and handing out caremals who never EVER do anything with their lives. Bah *hits self with Anthropology text book*
girlnamedxena: (oops)
Today I'm going to Jainne's for our talk. Tomorrow I'm going to Westside for details on my employment (she finally called me back). Thursday I'm going to a "mandatory reading" for Creative Writing class. On Friday I (hopefully) won't be doing anything. On Saturday I work all day at Heritage, on Sunday I have a CPR re-cert class from 8am-noon. Then on Monday I have class again.
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
And because of the CPR I probably won't go dancing so I guess it's a good thing I asked to see Janine now rather than wait for the weekend. But I need to get the CPR as soon as possible because I start work a week from Friday.
I have to catch the bus to school in a couple hours because I wanted to get there early to get my Medieval History text and some index cards.
Oh, and none of my books from last year have been sold. I've got three short stories to read and two assignments to do for Sunday, in writing class alone. I haven't started my Anthro readings (largely because I don't know what I'm suppose to read when because the syllibus is not online as my proff said it would be, either that or I'm stupid and I can't find it). I'm a class behind in Medieval history, I'm still not registered for Greek and Roman Studies but I'm going to that class anyway when I would really rather stay home.
On the bright side, after doing my first Latin assignment, I'm not as screwed as I thought I would be. We're learning it in a simular way that I learned French so at least the method is familiar, if not the language.

*There should be accents there, but I can't figure out how to do the right ones.
girlnamedxena: (Jarethbah)
I slept in this morning, I couldn't get my locker open, I was almost late for Latin (which was packed, by the way), my Anthropology proff gave me a dirty look for talking in class, I skated, I forgot my (new, nalgene) water bottle at the rink and had to go all the way back from the Science Thearters to go find it (which I did). Then I was late for Creative Writing because I got lost. Now both of the printers in my house think they have paper jams, but they don't so I can't print anything.
The good news is I got into History 319. And I don't have class until 3:30 tomorrow.
And the skating lady hasn't called me back (to my knowlegde).
Bah.
girlnamedxena: (swing my thing)
Life is so shiny right now.
One day until swing, RHPS and some submarine watching (Gods, I've missed that) -_-*
Three days until I am no longer working full time
I got into the (rather competitive) creative writing course that I wanted
It only took me half an hour to put in pin curls

Yay!

And this morning some jerk called the house at six fourty-five this morning! WTF? It was some friend of my aunt's whose in town for a bit, and they already left a message earlier but felt the need to get me out of bed to ask me if Heather hand gone to work yet. Obviously they're not very close friends or they would know she hasn't worked since she started having kids OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO! Who the HELL calls ANYONE that early in the morning, unless they were given strict instructions to do so or it was an emergency? People suck.
Well, people suck except for my people. They're ok. When the apocolypse comes they will be spared. And possibly given love slaves and monkey servants (and no, the love slaves will not also be the monkey servants).

Noooooo!

Aug. 3rd, 2006 08:27 pm
girlnamedxena: (oops)
So, uh, the good folks at youtube finally noticed that someone had been breaking many, many copyright laws and uploading episodes of Sugar Rush. Which means I can't watch it anymore *cries* what'm I suppose to do? I won't know how the season ends, unless I look up spoilers but I hate doing that. For someone who is totally against copyright infringement... but I would watch it legitimately if I could, but since I don't live in the UK I can't. Grah.
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeepy.
I'm now working on the uglyiest piece of cross-stich ever created. BUT guests don't seem to mind that I don't stand up when they come in, whereas if I'm reading or writing they just think I'm being lazy. Except for that one lady who totally spazzed at me for like, no reason. I'm sorry if telling your friend she isn't allowed to touch anything on the other side of the ropes is offensive to you, but seriously, lady, take a chill pill.
I should practice Poly, but there's still hail everywhere.

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