girlnamedxena: (Default)
[personal profile] girlnamedxena
I just stumbled upon this article. It was written some time ago, so it may be old news to you all, but I thought it was really interesting. Obviously, I can't really comment on what it's like to be a guy. But I think the author was completely correct when he talked about wanting to be desired. When he described what it was like to be with that older man, I knew exactly what he was talking about. I was also a little horrified when he pointed out many men, many people even, have never felt that. It was a positive experience for me. That relationship had it's major problems, and I'm not denying that I got hurt, but ultimately I've come out of it feeling more attractive and confident than I did going in. It has also made me think about how I've expressed my desire for former partners, and I don't think I've ever made anybody feel like that. Hopefully next time around I'll do better.

I have been kind of curious about how men feel in today's society. Finding scholarship and dialogues and so forth on feminism/women's studies is easy, and I'm quite familiar with it. Are there parallel studies for men? I somehow doubt researchers sit around and discuss, say, the impact of advertising on men the same way they do about women, but I haven't actually looked into it so I could be wrong. Some feminists might argue that men don't need to be studied. At the same time, when the Women's Centre opened on campus I heard a few people ask (jokingly) why there wasn't a Men's Centre as well. My response, at that time, was because everywhere was a Men's Centre, and I think there are probably a lot of feminists who would agree. I've also heard the argument that if there was a Men's Centre no one would use it, and maybe they wouldn't, but how can we know for sure? Men have feelings and they get hurt, the same as women. Wouldn't they benefit from having safe spaces as well? If we want equality, doesn't that mean we have to give men the same consideration as women?

Date: 2009-09-22 09:56 pm (UTC)
ext_110: A field and low mountain of the Porcupine Hills, Alberta. (Default)
From: [identity profile] goldjadeocean.livejournal.com
Hugo is one of the few men's feminists (as opposed to male feminists) in the blogosphere. Another resource would be Susan Faludi's Stiffed: The Betryal of American Manhood.

There are lots of people going, "The mens! They are hard done by! It is the wimminz fault! And the feminists!". There are precious few going, "The mens! They are hard done by! It is society's fault!"

Date: 2009-09-22 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girlnamedxena.livejournal.com
I've glanced through Hugo's blog before, and I found it really interesting.

There are lots of people going, "The mens! They are hard done by! It is the wimminz fault! And the feminists!". There are precious few going, "The mens! They are hard done by! It is society's fault!"

I hope I didn't come off as being in the first camp, because I'm not. If men are hard done by (I haven't put enough thought into it to have an opinion one way or another) I'd blame society. But if society isn't working for anybody why hasn't it changed?

Date: 2009-09-22 10:32 pm (UTC)
ext_110: A field and low mountain of the Porcupine Hills, Alberta. (Default)
From: [identity profile] goldjadeocean.livejournal.com
Oh no! I'd never think you think that. You're sensible. ;)

And that's an excellent question. I have a few thoughts, but they're very disordered.

Date: 2009-09-23 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] e-phemera.livejournal.com
interesting thoughts. Thanks for posting and for linking to the other blog!

Date: 2009-09-23 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girlnamedxena.livejournal.com
You're very welcome!

Date: 2009-09-23 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lacyjae.livejournal.com
Haven't read the link and don't know much on the topic, but the whole "Women's Center/no Men's Center" thing automatically made me think about gay pride/straight pride. Or even ethnic pride/caucasian pride. I think there are a lot of issues that share the idea that BOTH camps should be proud or have space or whatnot... but little (in my limited attention anyway) about WHY they don't or shouldn't.

Feh. I'm tired.

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